 GREAT FAILURES OF THE EXTREMELY SUCCESSFUL by Steve Young Copyright © 09/01/2002 All rights reserved. Hard Cover Published by Tallfellow Press 336 pages ISBN 1931290172 $24.95 Click here to buy this book. Read an Excerpt -PREFACE- fail-ure': 1. the state or fact of being lacking or insufficient 2. a losing of power or strength; weakening, dying away. 3. not doing; neglect or omission. 4. not succeeding in doing or becoming. 5. person who does not succeed. BABE RUTH spent his childhood years in an orphanage and then struck out 1,330 times on his way to 714 home runs and baseball immortality. In 1954, ELVIS PRESLEY was fired from the Grand Ole Opry after only one performance and told by the manager, "You ain't goin' nowhere, son. Better get y'all job back drivin' a truck." OPRAH WINFREY didn't let getting fired from her television reporter's job and being told, "You're not fit for TV," keep her from becoming one of the most beloved and successful women in television. In 1933, WALTER CRONKITE failed an early audition in local radio and was told by the radio station manager that he would never make it as a radio announcer. He went on to become one of America's most recognizable and trusted voices. Being unable to hear or speak didn’t shut down HELEN KELLER’s world. It opened her up to a life more full than most able-bodied people might experience in a lifetime. All these people have one thing in common. They refused to let hardships stop them on the road to victory. They learned that every triumphant discovery resulted from many unsuccessful experiments; that every home run has been tempered by a multitude of missed swings; that every great script was built on the back of endless rewrites; that every top performer has been humiliated by more than one performance; that many a scrumptious recipe found its way to the dinner table through burnt and bruised trials; that failure is part of the process that breeds success. --------------- Sir Edmund Hillary wanted to climb Mount Everest and after three failed attempts finally succeeded. People said, "You've conquered the mountain," and Hillary said, "No, I've conquered myself." The greatest commodity our planet possesses is the human race. The greatest resource... ourselves. If this was a world of constructive and positive reinforcement we need go no further. Our children would grow up to be successful adults, brimming with confidence, continuing to spread the word of a world full of endless possibilities. The cycle of enthusiastic affirmations would renew itself throughout the generations, and we would all live and die, happy and content. Only I would be miserable because there would be no need to write this book. Alas, most people, at some point in their lives, have been the object of the not-so-tactful judgments of those in a position of authority or so-called superior knowledge, who have been shown to be, for the most part, dead wrong. Those who can, do; those who can't, become critics (critics reviewing this book, excepted). Parents, teachers, coaches, business supervisors, religious authorities, and critics of all sorts, inadvertently or not, have been responsible for dulling aspirations and destroying dreams. Many mistakes have been proclaimed failures, and subsequently punished, leaving many of us afraid to take risks or try again. All too often, these disciplines and evaluations have been brought about in a misguided attempt to improve the individual. More than likely, however, the opposite has resulted. There are others who have been born physically or mentally challenged, or became so through sickness or accident. They may have been told that they were not capable of doing what they had done before; or that they should not even try something for the first time, lest they be disheartened or hurt. Thank God for the likes of Stephen Hawking and Christopher Reeve. Many whose unique thoughts and deeds are deemed too radical or too odd for "more reasonable" minds are not taken seriously. Yet it is these same enterprising and original thinkers of every generation who end up leading the charge into a new period of growth and discovery. Whether well-intended or absolute evil, the result of conservative reactions to anything out of the norm has been a society of doom and gloomers; those who say, "I can't" without ever saying, "I'll try." Even worse, these skeptics will pass on this hapless message to their children and colleagues. The circle of learned apprehension will grow unless we understand that the circle can be broken. AND IT CAN! The objective is to appreciate the fact that our life is a process, a process made up of infinitesimal experiences and moments all fashioning us into who we are today. And if we continue to breathe, our missteps, errors and misunderstandings are absolutely necessary for growth. They are the life-lessons that are essential for progress and enrichment. Without them, we would stagnate and wither away. Why? Because we learn nothing from being perfect. It feels good for the moment, but it doesn't teach us a dang thing. Never did. Never will. Do babies come out of the womb walking and talking? Not many. Are they criticized for falling down when they begin to walk? I hope not. They are in fact cheered and, with major huggies all around, encouraged to try again. After innumerable tumbles and assorted boo-boos, they're soon up and running everywhere. Does a baby feel that it should do better or learn faster? No, because a baby has no expectations, except maybe for the anticipated tranquiLity a well-placed thumb brings. What a child does is what it does and when it does it is when it is done. And that, ladies and gentleman, is how it works best. When did we begin to deem it appropriate that devaluing ourselves by not meeting some quasi-standard was the proper way to live? And why can't Dr. T. Berry Brazelton be here for us too, the over-five generation? We may want to haul off and flatten the next person who says, "What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger," but Mother Nature handles failure and obstacles...naturally. We call it evolutionary adaptation. As organisms evolved, the stresses faced by our ancestors caused the human body to change in order to handle environmental needs. In effect, our bodies know how to react to adversity intuitively. It would make sense that our brains and our hearts are equipped to do the same...as long as we choose to get out of the way. Biologically, while pain would seem to be anything but good news, we would never know there was something wrong in our bodies if it weren’t for the pain. It’s nature’s wake-p call. Life’s solutions don't come down the chute, gift wrapped and ready to be opened anytime we decide they should be. We have no idea if the very next effort won't provide us with our success. So why do we decide to quit before we reach our objective? Why do we let a single failure stop us? If Thomas Edison had quit because coal, carbon and other tested materials didn't ignite his bulb, you might only be able to read this book by day or by candlelight. Edison stuck with it and each attempt brought him closer to the discovery that tungsten would do the trick. But stuff does happen and we sometimes must suffer through our failures, right? Not necessarily. Any situation stops being a failure as soon as we attempt to learn from it. And we don't even have to actually learn something. The attempt alone is enough. Once you've taken the action, the constructive process begins. And that activity begets more activity. And here's a profound thought. When you stop or quit, nothing happens. What occurs when you receive a negative evaluation? It probably feels lousy. But if your desire is to enhance your life, dig through that review to see if there's something in it that can help you improve. Even if the reviewer is a fool, he might stumble onto something of relevance for you. After you take what you can use, THROW OUT THE REST! It serves no purpose. Do not give it any power. Take the lemons and make lemonade. Take the leftover lemon rinds, grind them up in your food processor, and use them as fertilizer. There ain't no going back and changing anything that’s happened. What happened, happened. But what is changeable is how you treat yourself. Acceptance plays here. Since you have no control over the past, embrace it and trust that it happened for a good reason. How? Here's the good news AND the bad news. First the bad news... If you can't figure out some positive rationale for your seemingly negative situation, I wouldn't even venture a guess of what good it serves. The good news...? You don't have to know. There are some people who believe that everything, good or bad, is for a good reason. It's not an easy concept. Sometimes you have to fake the idea or act as if. That is, act as if things are good. It takes some practice and, in many cases, a lot of faith. If you have a God in your life, this is where you can make good use of Him/Her. And what if at the end of your life you haven't discovered the "good reason"? Well, all you did was waste your entire life feeling good when all along you could have felt miserable. Not much of a risk, huh? Is this just a case of kidding ourselves? Not if we want to live a positive life. Carpe diem! Seize the day! Nowhere does it say that the day has to be a good one. Only that we can make it good if we choose. Failure is not always of our own making. Other people and events disappoint us, too. Even our own bodies and health fail us from time to time. But no matter the source of the failure, it is our attitude towards the situation that makes all the difference. And so we come to the reason for the next 300 plus pages. It seems that advice does not make as much of an impact as sharing one’s experience with another. In the stories that follow, well-respected and well-known individuals share their heartbreaks, flops, misfortunes and botched opportunities. You'll hear in their own words, and with the emotions we all share, how they relentlessly pursued their dreams past roadblocks and crushing rejections and turned their seeming liabilities into stepping-stones to triumph. They reveal how they overcame their personal demons and humiliations to come to believe in themselves. And they are more than happy to tell of those who told them they would never succeed. The anecdotes are meant to encourage us all to learn from their setbacks, to push on, and turn every "I can't" into an "I will." Misfortune will come but it never need bury you. Our subjects come from all walks of life...business, science, sports, entertainment, art, education and politics. After all, no one is immune to failure. The difficulties they’ve dealt with come in all sizes and degrees. While you may not be able to relate to a particular event or circumstance, most likely you’ll connect with the feelings. No matter your social standing or part of the earth you reside, it’s the feelings that are universal, that make us one. As you read on, be aware that not only are we accused of failures, but we can often be the accuser. If we are in a position of authority or power, teacher or coach, employer or supervisor, parent or friend, we can learn to disregard our inclination to chastise, no matter how delicately, no matter how right we think we are. Rather than tear down or humiliate, we can use the same incident to inspire and encourage. The results for you and the rest of humanity can be a windfall of untold good. So it is, I chose to compile the information for this book. For if we all attempt to change our attitude towards imperfection, Webster's will be forced to add to its definition of failure: "6. a stepping-stone to success." CLICK ON "READ AN EXCERPT" TO CHECK OUT A SAMPLE CHAPTER FROM GREAT FAILURES OF THE EXTREMELY SUCCESSFUL Excerpt SAMPLE CHAPTER JAMIE GOLDMAN "You don’t appreciate how precious life is until it’s almost taken away." Jamie Goldman is a vibrant motivational speaker who draws crowds, cheers and great admiration. She displayed that same effort on the track when she set a world record in the 200 meter run. Adidas Shoes showcased Jamie’s talents in the widely acclaimed commercial that had the sports world buzzing. While outstanding, none of this would even be on her resume if not for a simple wrong turn that changed her life forever. ____________________________ I was just your average kid. I didn’t excel in any way, shape or form in anything. There was nothing that tickled my fancy. I felt I’d go to college, then into some sort of business. I had no passions as yet. The only thing I really loved was skiing. I was otherwise not athletic. It was the week before Christmas, 1987. I was nineteen and living in Arizona at the time, having just finished the first semester of my sophomore year in college. My boyfriend’s sister, Lisa, and I decided to drive to my boyfriend’s place in New Mexico, then go skiing in Colorado. After two days of skiing we dropped off my boyfriend in New Mexico, and on the morning of December 23, 1987, Lisa and I headed back to Arizona. She had to work that day, so we left around 8 a.m. hoping to return home by 3 p.m.. We had hand-written directions, which we had followed when we first drove to New Mexico. Unfortunately, when we crossed the border into Arizona, we turned southwest instead of southeast. I have no idea how or why we did that. It was just a mistake. After another couple hours of driving we realized we weren’t where we needed to be. We stopped at a gas station to ask for directions and a map. They didn’t have a map and the fellow who worked there had a very thick hillbilly accent which was very difficult to understand. He told us just how far off track we were and gave us directions that would bring us out near Sunrise, a ski resort in Arizona with which I was familiar. There was still the possibility of getting back home in time for Lisa to make it to work, but it would be close. Another couple in the gas station agreed with the directions, and they were easier to understand than the gas attendant. "You go 273 and you’ll come out behind the resort." I knew how to go home from there. Lisa and I felt quite confident and we left from there. We drove about ten minutes and saw a sign that read, "273," Turning on to it, we drove for a while before it started to snow. And then it snowed harder. Hard enough that we had to put the car in 4-wheel drive. Nothing unusual there. After about a half-hour, the car just stopped. We discovered later that the car had hit a snow bank, slid and became stuck on ice. We were in the middle of a blizzard. We got out and tried to rock the car back and forth. We tried to break up the ice under the tires with our ski poles. But nothing worked. I was frustrated, Lisa was worried about losing her job, and the car wasn’t going anywhere. On our way out to Colorado we remembered seeing snow plows, so we figured we could just wait for the snow plows to get us out. We waited and waited, but no one showed up. We later found out that what those people at the gas station had told us was to go "to 73," not "273." "73" was about two miles further down. And the road we took by mistake was one that had been left open for Christmas tree cutting only. After we had gotten stuck, and the snow hit hard, they closed the road. Unfortunately, while the county would normally close one gate, ride through the entire length of the road then close the other side, this time, each side was closed separately and no one drove through to check for stragglers. It was a fifteen mile long road with a gate at each end and both were now closed. We were locked in. By the time our parents and the police started looking for us, we had two strikes against us. We were so far off track from the way we should have gone home that no one would have expected us to be where we were. And the road we were on was closed. My parents started looking the next day, December 24. But because Lisa was eighteen, I was nineteen, and it was right before Christmas, the police response to my parents was just awful. Nobody wanted to look for us or help our parents. The police thought we could be runaways. The fact was, I had planned to go on a trip with my parents and there was no way I would miss that. After a day or two of looking, my parents went to the media. Four or five days later, the police joined in. My father and uncle traveled every foot of the road they thought we should have driven. Lisa and I spent days wondering why no one had come by. Where were the snow plows? At that time we had no idea that we had misunderstood and taken the wrong road entirely. In the beginning there was more frustration than anger. As days went on, when I would get very upset, sometimes thinking that my parents had left on vacation without me, Lisa would calm me. When Lisa would become discouraged, I would support her. I believe that more than anything else, we got our strength from each other. We never broke down at the same time. Helping each other was the key. There were times I felt hopeless. The car’s engine had died the first night. It snowed so long and so hard for the first three or four days, the only way I knew whether it was day or night was from my glow-in-the-dark watch. Inside that car it was dark all day. After four days the snow finally stopped. We had nothing to eat or drink the entire time. We knew we had to get out of there. Our shoes had gotten wet the first day so we put on our ski boots and with the help of one ski stick each we started out. I went first and I immediately sank down to my knees. Lisa followed in my foot steps. After we were some hundred feet away, Lisa collapsed. She started crying and saying that she couldn’t go any more. She was so weak and was spitting up blood. It really scared her. We didn’t know where we were and we didn’t know where we were going. We didn’t know where the road was or if we might walk off the side of a hill. The car had been a safe haven. We talked it over and neither of us wanted to leave the other so we decided that we would stay with the car. By this time I began to get mad that we couldn’t get anywhere and no one had come. My faith would go up and down. But everyday I woke up, I felt some hope. And with the sun coming out, there was something we could do. We could melt some snow to drink. We found anything that could hold liquid. We used my contact lens case, baggies, lens cap solution receptacles. Anything. We would fill them up with snow and place them on the dashboard. The snow would melt enough for us to drink. We learned just how much to drink of the melted snow to get the most benefit from it. It was about then that our feet, which were frozen, began to thaw out from the sun. That’s when the pain set in. That’s when we first actually looked at our feet and saw that they had turned a strange purple color. And they hurt. From that point, to get some relief, we would massage each other’s feet. I don’t think I felt hopeless, except for the days that my feet were so swollen I couldn’t get my boots on. We became creatures of habit. We’d do our jobs. We’d wake up in the morning. Melt our snow. Everyday we’d get outside and wipe the snow from the car so we could be spotted. Sometimes we’d talk. Sometimes there were long periods of silence. But at no point did we quit. I might have questioned the possibility of dying, but for some reason, deep in my soul, I always thought I’d see my parents again. I might have gotten upset and cried, but I never thought I would die. After the first week, there was a lot of silence. We spent Christmas and New Years in that car, but there was no celebration. On Saturday, January 2nd, at ten or eleven in the morning, suddenly, out the front window, we saw two people on snow mobiles. A man and his twelve-year-old son. It was as if they appeared out of nowhere. The man was able to open Lisa’s door, and in a real sweet mountain accent asked, "Are you those two girls from the news?" We had no idea of the extensive search that had been going on. Lisa just cried and hugged him. He had a Snickers and a Dr. Pepper. We started eating and we almost got sick immediately. He said he had to go back and get "the law." I was a bit startled, but I began to pack. Lisa just wouldn’t let go of him. He calmed her, left, and returned about an hour later, without the police. They didn’t have the vehicles necessary to get us out. With one bag each we climbed on their snow mobiles, leaving our feet exposed to additional damage. Waiting at the gate at the end of the road was our rescuer’s wife and the police. I tried to move from the snow mobile to the car, but fell, unable to walk. The sheriff had to carry me to the car. At the time, we had no idea how damaged our legs actually were. I remember my father coming to the hospital and I was so mean to him. "Why couldn’t you find us?! What we you doing?! We were right there!?" I think that was the hardest part to understand. We knew where we were. Why didn’t they? I had pretty severe frostbite. For three weeks they treated it. My body was getting better while my feet were getting worse. I had developed an infection and my feet became gangrenous. They were very painful. I was alive, but very sick. The decision was made to amputate About three days before the surgery, my parents brought in an amputation specialist who worked with a specialist in prosthetics, who would fit me with legs during surgery. As I said, I wasn’t an athlete. I never exercised, so that didn’t bother me. It was more important for me to be able to walk into Macys and buy myself a pair of shoes. How can I fit back into society? That was what was important to me. The night before the surgery I finally became upset. I still had my feet. Granted they were black, they made me sick, I couldn’t eat and I was miserable...but they were still there. I think that was the only time I thought I had gotten a raw deal. Within forty-eight hours after the surgery, I was feeling better and I was able to eat, though it took me a good two years before I got my appetite back. They told me I had to exercise. I was going to lose about 25% of my body: half of my calf and foot on each leg. I needed to strengthen my body to uplift myself to get by. At first I balked but I figured that if it would get me out of this hospital, I would do it. I was up using a walker within forty-eight hours. My grandfather became my coach, but ultimately, if I was going to get rid of that walker I would have to do it myself. No one else could do it for me. I used the walker for the first six months. What really helped me was walking in the pool without the walker. I started working out and I found that I liked it. I was becoming strong, and I had never known what it was like to feel strong before. It gave me another outlet. I was able to go to the gym. Incredibly, I became a runner. Odd as it seems, if I had not lost my legs, I would not have. I certainly would not have been as strong as I am today if the accident had not happened. I started running seriously about four years later, in 1997. My goal was to run in the 2000 Paralympics in Australia. In fact, that was my entire reason for running. In 1999, in an attempt to film a commercial of disabled athletes having a softball game, Adidas contacted my athletic association to shoot a commercial. They ended up wanting to shoot one around a single runner, and that runner was me. I was so proud of the result. Here I was on the screen, a close up on my face. I’m running hard and as I finish and check my time, they open up the shot revealing that I had been running on prosthetic legs. Not a word was said. Quite dramatic. An amazing piece. I’ve gotten wonderful feedback. I’ve been able to make connections with many parents of children with prosthetics. After the commercial, I continued to train for the Olympics. I had trained for three years. But in the end, I didn’t make our team. I could blame it on a lot of things, but the point was, I just wasn’t fast enough. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I didn’t die for a reason. Because of my running I have been able to do amazing things. I got to run in Japan, Germany, England, Spain and, in fact, I did run in Australia and broke the world 200 meter record for my disability class. I found that I needed a new challenge. For the Avon Walk For Breast Cancer, I had to walk sixty miles. I’m a runner. I had to learn to walk. It wasn’t easy. I trained, I trained and I trained. I had to walk five hours a day. It was harder than I ever expected, but when the time for the walk came, I did it. And I finished. The last seven miles of that walk was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I was alone, in the rain, crying. It was so difficult, but I did it. So many people don’t understand their own mental strength. They give up because of the negative voices in their head. Before a negative thought comes out people must force themselves to make it positive. We can have wonderful support groups. I feel very fortunate to have friends and family who have helped me. But ultimately, how I feel and how I conduct myself depends on me. If not for the accident, I would have never met my husband, nor had the life I have today. If not for the accident I would not be as accepting of other people. I would not be as patient with them. I have no right to pass judgment on anyone who is different from me. Before, I judged people from the outside, not for who they were on the inside. I’m even more accepting of myself. Everyone has bad days. So do I. It’s normal. But the fact is, I have my life. You don’t appreciate how precious life is until it’s almost taken away. Appreciate what you have today. Take time out for the simple things. Tell your family you love them every day. If you’re a kid in school and you’re having problems academically, find out what puts a smile on your face. It doesn’t have to come from a textbook. Focus on that. Bring that to school in some shape or form. Would I want my legs back? Right now, no. My prosthetics define me. They are part of who I am. And today, I am exactly the person I want to be. |
 You CAN be it!
_______ If necessity is the mother of invention, Then failure must be its father. --Steve Young _______  You CAN Create It!
________ Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win, By fearing to attempt. --William Shakespeare _____  You CAN Own It!
_________ A diamond cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials. --Chinese Proverb __________  You CAN learn it!
______ Failure is the tuition you pay for success. --Walter Brunell _______  You can sell it!
________ A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner. --English Proverb __________  You CAN belong!
_________ Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant. --Horace. _________  You CAN go anywhere!
_________ The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. --Winston Churchill _________ |
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